It doesn’t matter if you win, get rejected, or get hurt. Life is about showing up. While you’ll never fail if you never try, you’re also guaranteed to never win. Would you bail on working out if your trainer didn’t come? Would you still enjoy a dinner if your date flaked? Would you still make music if nobody listened? Would you leave work or skip your tasks if your boss didn’t show up?
Sometimes we fail. Sometimes other people fail.
But every time we can ask the question and make a choice: “Do I play on anyway?”
As they say, “The show must go on” …but does it still go on if there’s no audience?
Recently, I had a group coaching call where not a single person called in. Not just once, but twice in a row. For both of these calls, I stayed on the line present for the whole hour, keeping my word, regardless of the results. It was just me coaching nobody, and I was loving the fact I didn’t run away or quit. Even though it was a “failure”, I stilled showed up and stuck through it.
Now of course I’m not going to keep repeating the same exact strategy and hope for a different result. As Einstein said, that’s insanity. However when it did happen, I saw it through even though it seemed like a loss. That was the cool part for me – rather than getting sad or mad, or throw my hands up like I may have done in the past, I used it as an opportunity to grow. I stayed with the pain to the finish line.
On one hand, I stayed on the entire hour for them just incase somebody called in late. But on the other, it was about me showing up for myself by following through with my commitment. While, yes, it was technically a total bust, I still got a takeaway from it: Stop worrying about what others are or aren’t doing, and start to show up for yourself. If you can’t even do that for you, why would others?
I think one of the things that makes a man a great man is that he follows through. He’s dependable. Not always‐available‐as‐a‐doormat dependable, but keeping‐his‐work dependable. It’s similar to those hypothetical questions that ask if you’d still do something if you knew you wouldn’t get caught. Would you still show up even if you knew nobody wouldn’t know otherwise?
In an article about why jerks date women and not nice guys, one of the major reasons I discussed was the jerks “ask”. A lot of nice guys don’t make their interest apparent and boldly ask women on a date (or make a sexual move), so women are often left with the drunken bloke who’s pushy and cocky because he was there. He showed up… so to speak. Well actually, he SPOKE UP; he made some sort of move. Showing up, speaking up, asking for what you want, making a move, making a bold request – it’s all the same. Some more of a risk than others, but they all require you to take that first step and keep stepping.
I’ll close with my opening: It doesn’t matter if you win, get rejected, or get hurt. Life is about showing up.
How have you shown up for yourself (or another) recently? Share now in the comments!
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