Secret to Success: Are You Passionate About It?
1 Comment | Topics: Effectiveness, Lessons
Ernie the bunny eats his greens with passion. Do you live with passion? (Photo: peet-astn)
As you’re there, reading this now, beginning to wonder… let me ask you a question: are you passionate about what you’re doing right now? Reading this article right here, right now – are you passionate about it? Does learning about success and becoming a better person turn you on, or is it just some some brain snack to keep it occupied until the next bit of stimuli like a good consumer?
If the former, then this will be a nice exercise for something you already have much of. If the later, then hopefully this will be a wake-up call, so either way keep reading.
I was talking to a friend other day that I helped with a breakthrough session (somewhat on the line of the new Tony Robbins show), and he told me about a very successful gentleman that was telling him about some of his “secrets to success”. He was saying how every year or so he would try on a new concept in life, and apply it to become a better person (sounds like my kind of guy already).
He said that there was one that stuck out above the rest in his life, the one concept that made the biggest impact in his love, business, and personal life… pretty much all areas. Something that when applied to everything he did, will manifest abundance in the kind of satisfaction and happiness you’ve been looking for.
I’m sure one can guess by now… but before I tell you what he said, I want to tell you a story. This story is about a certain little rabbit named Ernie.
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Which way are you turning it? (Photo: Kevin Dooley)
Showers seem to be a place where I do a lot of my thinking and I often have many realizations under falling water – it’s totally zen for me. What’s not often though, is the shower itself that’s the source of wisdom – usually it’s just the insane amount of time I’m just letting the water flow over me. Today was different, as the simple every-day water faucet knobs of my shower lead me to little new perspective on classic wisdom.
There’s thousands of variations of shower knobs out there, and I’m sure you’ve encountered a few that totally baffled you. You know, you go to a friend’s house in some crazy loft and they have to give you an entire course on how to work the damned thing. It’s like some sort of Rube Goldberg Machine.
Anyways, let’s stick with the classic double-knober that let’s you control both the hot and cold water individually. With this setup, there can be unlimited variations of the two that get you the same temperature, some being more energy efficient than others (especially if you take long ones).
Well, I do tend to take lengthy showers, as it’s almost a meditation for me, and today was no exception. So when the water starts getting a bit cooler after awhile, one can either turn up the amount of hot water, or turn down the amount of cold water, to get back to the warm temperature from before. So, the little kid inside of me starts having a little fun, turning them both at the same time – and then it hit me:
What if I was the hot water, and the cold water was other people?
I quickly tried to make this not seem like I was on some sort of bad hippy acid trip, and started to make some useful sense out of it:
I have the choice to either turn myself up to get what I want, or to turn others down.
If this was a conversation, I’d totally Zen Monk you and let you figure this out on your own… but I’ll explain how this practically applies in everyday life, since I don’t have that wonderful pleasure.
Here’s an example: Sometimes when people have the intention to make themselves look better, they’ll make fun of others (turning others down). It’s easy, common, and full of instant (hollow) gratification.
Deep inside they know there’s another option they have that would make themselves look better, and that’s to become a better, more successful person (turning themselves up). Both arrive at the same temperature, but one does it by turning himself up, and the other by turning others down (and in this case turning yourself up is harder, yet more rewarding).
There are also other times when it’s good to do the total opposite. If you’re playing acoustic guitar in a small room, it would usually be easier to just (literally) “turn everyone down”, than to mic the guitar and crank up the amp trying to over-power the audience.
Notice how you can apply this to so many practical things:
- making more money, or spending less (financial abundance)
- focus on adding value to your product, or how your competitor sucks (better product)
- taking more medicine, or eating less junk food (being healthy)
One’s not inherently good, bad, or better than the other (hot’s not better than cold, up’s not better than down): it’s all about contrast and balance. You just need to be aware you always have a choice between which knob you’re turning which way.
Remember not all knobs are created equal, and not all showers have the same water pressure – so once you know what you really want, be sure to chose that perfect combination that you know is right for you.
10 Little Known Sex Tips Every Better Lover Ought to Know
4 Comments | Topics: Being a Man, Love, Sex, Women
The best part of writing this article was finding a provocative image to catch your eye.
Sex. Who doesn’t want to be ridiculously good in bed? As one of top 2 most influential driving forces of any living species – reproduction – it’s no wonder sex plays such a huge part in our lives, and is the cause for so much pleasure, motivation, and yes – even frustration. Besides the obvious frustration of guys and gals that just can’t “get any” (hello, ambiguity), the frustration that men and women have with mediocre, or just plain awful, sex is alarming.
Of course you are probably already having copious amounts of bathroom-sink-breaking, neighbor-waking, back-arching, incredibly remarkable sex. There’s no way any woman would talk about how bad you were in bed with her girl friends after you leave the next morning, nor would your girlfriend ever be frustrated that you’re just not doing it for her. Or, heaven forbid, she was faking it this whole time (hello, wikipedia).
No, that would never happen to you… or would it?
Nobody wants to think, let alone admit, they’re not good at “doing it” (hello, 6th grade). Every man in the world thinks he’s the shit in bed, which is okay with me – if it’s true. If you’re amazing in bed, fantastic, I’m glad you’re helping to make women feel absolutely incredible. But when the studies and complaints around the world say otherwise, we know the truth.
Now it’s totally understandable, and even socially acceptable to be “just okay” in bed, to not be really mature, to not be able to give her an orgasm, to not be able to walk the walk as a “boy” in his teens-twenties. It’s common, and on the surface, culturally acceptable to be average – by definition. Hell, that’s just who you are – it’s okay to just be your yourself, right?
There’s nothing technically wrong with that – but that doesn’t mean one should settle. There was no way I was going to settle when I knew could achieve excellence, and neither should you.
Listen, I’ll be honest with you: I was actually part of those statistics and even had some, *ahem*, “performance anxiety”. But once I became aware and realized I could do something about it, I took the steps I needed to take in order to learn and apply this to get better.
Since you’re here, reading this right now, I have a pretty good feeling you’re not an average guy and you’re not looking to just settle for “acceptable” …am I right?
Bad Advice? Why You Should Stop “Being Yourself” Immediately
8 Comments | Topics: Being a Man, Lessons
The Genie just wants Aladdin to be himself (©Disney)
Just be yourself, she said. I felt the uneasiness brewing in my stomach like stale milk curdling in the sun. As her words fell upon my own naive nervousness, I began to lose hope. I repeated what she said under my breath, as my eyes raced around, contrasting the shaking of my tense head. Those words had always seemed to make me cringe, overshadowed only by the phrase teenagers around the world despise: “The Real World”.
“Just be myself? …what does that even MEAN?!” I said in a half-crazed manor.
“You know, just relax and be yourself. You’re a great, nice guy, she’d be crazy to not like you. Don’t worry, it’ll be fine.” My friend replied trying to comfort me.
“Right, because that’s been working FAN-FUCKING-TASTIC so far.” I snapped.
My friend looked at me with the kind of empathetic look you find in the owner of a cute puppy that must be put down. Where she looks into the pup’s eyes and talks only with a wet gaze, comforting the poor, pathetic thing. The look of “Everything’s going to be okay, even though you’re going to die in a few minutes.”
The only thing I was missing was a belly rub. Hell, I might have even accepted one of those since it would have been the only action I got that night.
So how do you imagine the date went?
It’s time to burn your ships and win!
A long while ago, a great warrior faced a situation in which he had to make a decision that ensured his success on the battlefield. He was about to send his armies against a powerful foe whose men outnumbered his. He loaded his soldiers into boats, sailed to the enemy’s country, and unloaded the soldiers and equipment. Then he gave the order to burn the ships that had carried them. Addressing his men before the first battle, he said, ‘You see the boats going up in smoke. That means we cannot leave these shores alive unless we win! We now have no choice – we win or we perish!’
They won.
If you’ve ever read Think and Grow Rich, this story should sound familiar. Or if you’re Hernando Cortez. Or one of his men. Or a pyrotechnic. A sailor? No? Alright, I digress.
Let me ask you a question: are you winning?
Yes? Well that’s awesome, stop reading and keep your ships.
No? Then maybe it’s time to burn your ships.
Maybe? If you’re just content, unsure, or just feel like you’re missing something in life, maybe now’s the time to get a bit drastic.
Here’s the biggest reason to burn your ships: your life. This is your life – not the government’s, the church’s, or your parent’s – yours. You’re the only one that can decide (or cares) if you’re going to get out of it all that you want.
Is your life not worth winning?
